Mood Swings

Hey Babes,

I know I havent been updating since raya or puasa.. Life's been a real roller coaster for me. Mood swings. Killing time to forget everything. I know it's been so long since the thing happen but it seems like I can't get over him. It's not that easy for me. I don't know why its hard for me. I'm missing him every single day.

It's getting harder as there is not much communication between us. It's been so long since I last saw him and I'm dying to see him. I know I have to forget about everything and him but I can't. I still remember everything that has happened clearly.. I'm happy when I'm with you babes and my friends but I'm not trully happy you see. I mean theres still this part of me that wants more than this. More of everything & I cant seem to reach that level of satisfaction of happiness.

I guess I love him more than I should. I should'nt have given everything. I should have held on a little bit so that I won't feel this way. I should keep that safe side for me to fall so that I won't be hurt badly but I didnt. I still holding on to everything. I should let loose but I don't know if I can. The funny thing is even after all this while and pain, I still do love him.

Everything that I had done, I never regret it but it's just the pain that I wanna forget about. The pain of losing him. If I can erase everything and forget about it, I'll erase the pain but not the memories. I love spending time with him even though its just for a short while. I love every single moment of it.. As long as I can see him or hear his voice, I'm contented. I don't need him to spend a lot of his time with me. I just wish he would understand that. Understand that I just need his attention once in a while..

Lots of Love,
Sha
xoxoxo
Ps: I Really Miss You Babes.. I'll See You Guys Real Soon Ok! Love You! <3

Ohhh & BTW BTW! I FINALLY PASSED MY BTT!!! Like after sooooooooooooooooooo longggggggggg.. hehe.. Now I can take my PDL & start learning to drive! Woots~ I aim to pass soon & drive around! hehehe..